


Absolut-ely

by makeitmine



Category: Glee
Genre: Gen, Klaine Advent Drabble Challenge 2013, M/M, Season 4 fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-29
Updated: 2013-12-29
Packaged: 2018-01-06 13:25:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,075
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1107387
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/makeitmine/pseuds/makeitmine
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Santana decides it's time to find out what caused the demise of Lady Hummel and his pocket gelhead.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Absolut-ely

**Author's Note:**

> Another story written for Klaine Advent (all of my entries can be seen [here](http://jukeboxanderson.tumblr.com/tagged/klaineadvent)). This was for day 22's prompt, vodka. And, well, what says vodka better than Kurtana? Set around 4x18-4x19.

Santana plops herself down on the sofa with a bottle of Absolut and two tumblers. “Okay, princess, it’s truth time.”

Kurt barely flinches, choosing to focus on the Vogue article he finally had a hand in working on. “What are you talking about?”

“I’m saying that I think you need a talk with Auntie Snix. It’s been too long, don’t you think?”

He sighs; the only time he can recall Santana bringing out her alter ego was when she went against his judgement and called Sebastian out for the slushie incident. “Fine,” he replies, setting the magazine down on the coffee table and reaching for a glass and the bottle. In no way is he allowing her to serve him liquor. “What’s up? Are you settling in here alright? I know it’s no Kentucky college…”

Santana rolls her eyes. “Cut the small talk, Hummel, I want to know what went sour between you and Teenage Grandpa? I mean, other than that whole ‘twenty years married while still in high school’ crap you two put on every day.”

Of course she’s intent on getting gossip on Blaine. Kurt pours himself a generous shot and downs it immediately, the vodka burning its way down his throat. “Some people just aren’t cut out for long distance relationships, I guess,” he says with a wince.

“I see,” Santana muses. She takes the bottle from Kurt and brings it to her lips for a swig. “Guess all these New York boys intimidated you from the first moment, huh? No wonder you’re doing it with Sherlock Old.”

Kurt rolls his eyes at her. “Adam and I are not sleeping together.”

“I call bullshit.”

“Believe what you want, but we aren’t.” He swipes the bottle and takes another shot, her germs be damned if he ends up getting sick. “And for your information, the breakup had nothing to do with anyone here.”

Santana’s jaw drops and her eyes bug out. “Wait, he was the one screwing around?”

He nods and begs the tears beginning to prickle up away. “And then he flew out here just to tell me,” he says.

“Damn,” is all she says in reply. He doesn’t expect much else; with the New Directions’ lengthy history of people being unfaithful to their loved ones, Santana has quite a history of being the other woman, first with Finn and then Brittany. “Can I admit something to you, Kurt?”

“Sure.”

“Back when I began coming to terms with my orientation,” she begins, pulling her boot-clad legs up underneath her, “I…guess I looked up to you, a bit. I know, all that shit that went down with Karofsky was a fucking failure of McKinley to control, but you were always so sure, so confident around us before you transferred that it felt like…it felt like if you could be you and not be judged, then so could I. So when Miss Holliday was helping Mr. Schue with a lesson on being sexy, I decided the sexiest thing I could do at the time was tell Britt how I felt.”

Kurt nods and pours each of them a shot. “How did that go?” he asks.

“She said if she wasn’t with that four-eyed, four-wheeled dork that she’d be all for us being together,” she says with a tinge of regret. “It fucking hurt, but I understood.

“And then when Regionals came up and you came over to us with Blaine in tow and told us that, in other words, he got his head out of his ass, I felt so much better. You found love, and eventually I’d find a girl to love me.”

“But you didn’t have to wait long,” Kurt quips.

Santana nods and takes the shot, setting the cup down a bit off-kilter as the alcohol begins hitting them. “No, I didn’t. But you two were my role models.”

Kurt chuckles. He knows Santana is far enough away from sober that she’s admitting things like this. “I’m glad to be considered that,” he says.

“But now that he fucked around on you? God, Kurt, I should kick his ass for you. You’re that couple that’s supposed to send everyone five page long Christmas letters about what your little angels have gotten into this year.”

“You don’t have to do that, Santana.” He knows Blaine has beat himself up enough about what happened and he doesn’t want to add to the damage with a Lima Heights incident.

“Is he why?” she asks abruptly.

“Why what?”

“Why you haven’t banged the old man. Because you’re hung up on Bowtie McGelhead enough that you hooked up both before and after the wedding.”

“How did you know about the first one?”

Santana laughs. “Please, like Mercedes didn’t tell me at the reception that she caught you two with your pants down. Is his dick that good?”

Kurt knows he’s drunk when he answers, “He’s incredible.”

“Good,” she replies. “He looks like he’s packing in those too-small highwaters he wears all the time. If I still swung that way I’d be very interested.”

“Trust me, I love it and him more than anything.”

The words don’t hit him until he hears Santana gasp. “A-ha!” she shouts.

“Please, like you’re not hung up on Brittany at the same time.”

“But she didn’t cheat!”

Kurt leans back on the sofa and sighs. “I’ll never get over him, will I?” he asks.

Santana brushes a hand over his messily-done locks. “Do you think you’ll ever forgive him?”

He thinks for a minute, going through everything that’s occurred between October and now. The phone call on Thanksgiving, the Christmas surprise, the Valentine’s hookups, how they’re talking basically every day - it feels just as it should, outside of being broken up. Blaine’s working through his barrage of insecurities and making himself better so he doesn’t have to resort to a random internet hookup when he’s at his lowest point. And somehow in all the fuss and frustration, Kurt still sees a future for them, one that includes a place of their own and kids and their artists’ colony and -

And Kurt knows right then that he needs to do the right thing and end it with Adam. He can’t compete, he’ll never be able to.

“You know, I think I already have,” he finally says. Santana replies with what could be the most genuine smile he’s seen on her.

He’s going to be single again tomorrow. Hungover and single.


End file.
